Is it just me

That feel that in recent years all the movies worth remembering are all cartoons and animations?

McDreamy was looking pretty as usual but I probably should have watched another round of Kungfu Panda. Rom coms these days are not memorable, they don't make 'em like that anymore.

Or maybe I've grown up to be a bitter cynic. But that doesn't explain the cartoons now does it?

Best movie this year to date: Horton Hears a Who. It goes to show that you can never go wrong with Dr Seuss.



Currently reading: The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Kundera. (I'll try to finish the Malayan Trilogy by Burgess this weekend, promise).

Meet my hero

He was the reason why I wanted to be an archaeologist. He was also the reason why I became very interested in history. I had no problem memorizing facts from Malaysian History, syllabus Form 1 to 3. And yeah, throw in anything from the Ice Age too. That was from Form 1 right? Don't ask me anything now though, don't remember shit.

At one point, I lost interest in history and I thought being an archaeologist in the mundane Malaysia of today could have never brought as much adventure as Indy had in the 30's. Of course I overlooked the fact that Indy had never had any of his adventures in America. It was always in some exotic places like India or Egypt.

I actually tried to do some research on the subject before applying for Uni. It seemed tedious and proper and required a lot of discipline, while I just wanna swing my whip and ride a horse while looking cool in a fedora and leather jacket saving (or stealing) another ancient relic! Where is the adventure lah? At that point I realized that unless I really care about history, the world of archeology is probably better off without a careless bugger like me. Oops sorry, I just dropped that 400 year old urn containing the ashes of some dead emperor. Uh, what do you mean that's the only urn containing his ashes that we have? No spares ah?

I mean, what are the chances of me having adventures in exotic faraway lands? I reckon it would be mind-numbing field work most of the time, if not doing some tiresome research in some dusty museum. Yawn. I mean, have you ever seen an archaeological digging? They dig gently, and then with a little brush they brush away bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit it drives me crazy just watching. Argh.

My mom said she was immensely relieved when I told her I wanted to study architecture instead. She thought it's not as dangerous. I didn't bother to argue. It's actually dangerous to the mind. All architects are actually dotty like hell. That's why I'm an urban designer now, because I'm sane. Gotta give her the credit though for not saying anything during all those years when I really thought archeology was my destiny.

And oh, I didn't do any research at all before applying for architecture. I truly didn't know about the caffeine-overdosed late nights, brutal crits, eccentric tutors, and 6 year long of self-doubt. We all graduated with only shreds of self-esteem, the school had managed to strip us off that. And so it was with pure innocence (which the school managed to strip off me too) that I entered the school and spent the 1st year having fun. C'mon, first year was fun. In later years we all dubbed the first year at that school as pure lie as it was not indicative whatsoever of what was to come.

Here I am now, armed with a bundle of qualifications and not having a clue. Maybe I should have taken archeology instead. At least I'll be dealing with things that won't change. The thing with architecture is that it keeps changing until you get that as-built drawing done. And that is not one fun drawing to make.

Anyhoo, for old time sake, I've booked 2 tickets to see Indy's latest adventure tomorrow night. I'll just grab a friend to see it with me. Or I could see it on my own. When it comes to Indy, I don't need a sidekick. I'll be too busy imagining myself looking cool in a fedora and cracking that whip to care.

The Bucket List

Edward: I really envy you believers, but I don't know why, I just can't wrap my head around it. (Jack Nicholson, in his trademark slur)

Carson: Maybe your head is in the way. (Morgan Freeman, with the hint of a smile, sounding wise, as usual)

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Did you find joy in your life?

Did your life bring joy to others?

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With Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman starring in this film, you know you can't go wrong.

Before Sunset

excerpts from the movie.

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I was thinking, for me it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore. I was suffering so much all the time. It's the stuff of dreams but they're not in regard to my love life. It doesn't make me sad it's just the way it is.

Yes obviously I can't deal with the day to day life of relationship.
When someone is always around me I'm like suffocating..

No wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved.

Yeah but when I do, it quickly makes me nauseous, it's a disaster.
I mean I'm really happy only when I'm on my own, even being alone it's better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely.
It's not so easy for me to be all romantic, you start off that way and after you've been screwed over a few times, you forget about all your delusional ideas and you just take what comes into your life.
That's not even true, i haven't been screwed over, I've just had too many blah relationship, they weren't mean, they cared for me, but there were no real connection or excitement, at least, not from my side.

... now it's like I don't believe in anything that relates to love, I don't feel things for people anymore.

But what does it mean the right man, the love of your life? The concept is absurd, the idea that we can only be complete with another person, is evil, right?
I guess I've been heartbroken too many times and then I recovered, so now you know, from the start I make no effort, because I know it's not gonna work out.

You can't do that. You can't live your life trying to avoid pain.

... I always act like I'm detached, but I'm dying inside. I'm dying because I'm so numbed, I don't feel pain or excitement, I'm not even bitter.

I just don't wanna be one of those people getting divorced at 52 and falling down into tears admitting that they never really loved their spouse and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.
I want a great life. I want her to have a great life, she deserves that. But we're just living in the pretense of a marriage responsibility and all these ideas of how people are supposed to live.

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